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Mar. 1st, 2009 @ 01:51 am Ugh
So far so good. In the last two weeks I played 1 (one) game of D&D and had 0 (zero) children.

Unfortunately, I ended up in the emergency room Monday. Bad case of flu. Started out bad, got a bit better and now I'm feeling awful.
Worst part - I got sick during a test and missed two others, so I have to make all those up and do graduation prep stuff this coming Monday. I'm still sick.
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dire troll mauler
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Feb. 21st, 2009 @ 08:31 pm Domesticated
Current Music: Veruca Salt - Loneliness is Worse
All of my friends are having kids. I'm not old enough to be typing "all of my friends are having kids".

I won't become one of them they can't get me I'm just gonna keep playing D&D, it's the perfect anti-kid weapon
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dire troll mauler
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Jan. 25th, 2009 @ 12:51 am Maybe
Current Music: Brother Cane - And Fools Shine On
Oh right, I have one of these. Oops. Maybe I'll start updating it again.
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calvin sleep
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Jan. 7th, 2008 @ 10:15 pm Politics
Current Music: The Ulfuls - Guts da Ze!
Tags: ,
( I don't often post quizzes and the like. )
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dire troll mauler
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Dec. 9th, 2007 @ 08:57 pm Ambitious
Current Music: THE Manpower!!! - Morning Musume
I've been just short of a nuclear meltdown all week. After two rough semesters, I had a chance to get everything back on track. The next few semesters I'll take my last psychology classes, graduate just a little bit behind schedule and then spend a year or two in Japan with the JET program. For the first time in a long, long while I finally had everything in place.
Or so I thought. My ideas for the future were contingent upon one thing - the results of my social psychology final. If I didn't make an 80% on this test, I'd suffer from academic dismissal. This would have meant no Japan, a much later graduation and other bad things.

Grades came in today. Looks like I'm on track after all.
When I clicked on the grade icon in WebCT and saw the results, I was so overwhelmed I started crying. Not only did I meet the 80% goal, I exceeded it by quite a bit. Despite the incessant problems (both parents having surgery, anxiety and depression, difficult 'friends', so on) I still succeeded.
The last few weeks I've been insufferable, I know. The stress tore my stomach apart. I stopped sleeping. Waiting for the test itself (and then the results) was almost intolerable. One event essentially dictated the next four years of my future; that's an absurd amount of pressure. But I studied eight or nine hours a day, made the grade and now I'm using Livejournal to gloat. I don't care, I earned this. I'm going to brag.

Granted, it shouldn't have gotten this bad in the first place...but much of that was beyond my control.
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trollkin
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Aug. 28th, 2007 @ 11:59 am Argh computers hate
Helped Kyle drive to Indiana, spent some time relaxing, watched someone get arrested on the plane back. Good times.

I also have a new laptop for school and it's running Vista. I am very -_- about this. (Words failed.) Last night involved about three or four hours trying to make the damn thing functional; I spent today deleting just about everything already installed.
Vista is annoyingly helpful. "Here's this awesome program! Because I'm so helpful I activated and prepared it without you asking. To be even more helpful, I'll go ahead and make sure you can't remove or disable the program. I'd hate for you to accidentally turn it off."

I am officially not a fan of Windows Vista. If my current program setup works without any major hitches I might keep it on, but otherwise I'll be switching back to XP.
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dire troll mauler
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Aug. 10th, 2007 @ 02:30 am Sigh.
Tags: ,
Most of my posts lately have been depressing. Here's a rare happy entry from the candidate I want to win, but know has no chance.

Mike Gravel speaks on gay rights.

It's nice to hear a candidate support full gay rights, especially on same-sex marriage. Knowing that somebody political actually gives a damn.
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dire troll mauler
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Jul. 31st, 2007 @ 09:57 am Whoa man, where'd you come from?
Current Music: Outkast
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I checked my email earlier, as is my wont, and discovered an email from Facebook. One of those "so-and-so wants you to sign up!" things that look remarkably like spam. Considering I already have a Facebook account, albeit on a different email address, I figured it must be a ploy to get my password. Or something, you know how email works.
I moved to the junk mail icon but something stayed my hand. The name and email address seemed oddly familiar. I checked my contacts; yeah, they're both in there. Facebook tells me it's a real person too. My surprise heightens.
The request came from a girl I met about four or five years ago at a concert. We talked about the bands, especially Andrew WK, and hit it off really well. Numbers and email addresses exchanged hands and we kept up contact for a while, but conversation dwindled a year or so later. She lived in Austin, I lived in San Antonio, school got worse and then there's that whole college thing. Still, it was a notable event - I've always been shy, so meeting new people randomly at events wasn't my strong suit. I think it was an important catalyst in increased confidence.

Thing is, I don't forget anyone. My mind refuses to process educational material but I can name off all my friends from first grade on (probably before too), all my teachers, even a fair few random faces from the hallway. I don't delude myself into thinking this is the case with most people - that'd just be naïve - but I like being wrong.

Receiving that email was a nice surprise. It's been a rough couple months (for various reasons, most already detailed in previous entries) if not longer so little things like that go a long way to improving my mood.
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dire troll mauler
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Jul. 7th, 2007 @ 07:06 am It's a private affair for those out there, for those with the power.
Current Music: the same song I keep using in my titles
I'm a predictable guy, but not in the way people think I am. Most of my friends misattribute intentions to my actions (something I find exasperating) and think they know what's coming next - they're invariably wrong, but continue to do so time and again. A few people can figure out what I'll do next with frightening accuracy.
My purchase of Skorne coincided with three factors - the release of the Agonizer, their unpopularity and a sale at the local store. They always interested me before, but the minute people started bitching about how nobody should play Skorne after the Agonizer came to light I had to complete a new army. I've always been drawn to the underdog.
I knew full well why I bought the new models - the majority of Warmachine/Hordes players hate them - and it cracked my shit up when Kyle caught me on it.
Perhaps I'll elaborate on misattribution in a later, most likely locked entry. Nothing frustrates me more than people who think they really "get me", but couldn't understand my reasons even if tattooed on their eyelids in garish neon colours. Especially when said people argue with me about it.

I'd love to geek out and talk endlessly about my Warmachine/Hordes addiction, but trust me - unless you play, my rambling won't be very interesting.

Summer can't end soon enough.

Sad truth is, I haven't done much of interest lately. Feeling discontent and frustrated. I'm still coming off the end of last semester's wacky depression shenanigans. Until that passes, not much can happen. The best way to finish the process, I think, might be to spend time with people who don't make me want to tear out my non-existent hair.
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dire troll mauler
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Jul. 1st, 2007 @ 03:55 am When it's late at night and you're in your bed, the bad don't seem so wrong.
Good news - the illness is nearly gone. My voice works erratically, admittedly, but it's nearing the end. Yay for health.

I have a confession to make. I'm only now reading some of the authors I should know. (This list includes authors like Ray Bradbury; that should indicate the difficulty in confessing.) It's cut in to my painting and gaming, but I think it's a worthwhile trade.
As a side effect, I think I'm writing again. Not with preferred regularity, but that comes with time. In the past I pushed for the novel, always the novel, but I have a better idea. Perhaps the short story is my true calling.
I'm also working on game ideas. Maybe even more BCG projects.

Just recently did I realise what a mess I was last semester. It's all rather obvious now, but you know what they say about hindsight. A number of events combined to overwhelm me and they succeeded. I hesitate to use the word depression - it's a strong word - but I think it fits.

I had more, but took a break to read up on current politics and I think I'm going to be sick. I secretly worry that someday in the near future, someone will tell me what candidate they support and I'll break their nose as a reaction. (Person and candidate, hopefully.)
I don't advocate violence, far from it, but it won't be a conscious act.
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dire troll mauler
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May. 24th, 2007 @ 04:14 am (no subject)
Back home. Effectively dead to world; typing merely by reflex.
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trollkin
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May. 2nd, 2007 @ 06:48 pm (no subject)
Settlers of Catan is now available on Xbox Live Arcade.

I already played three or four games against the AI (and it's good). Very much looking forward to online multiplayer.
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Apr. 20th, 2007 @ 11:19 pm Broken hallelujah
Current Music: Hallelujah - John Cale
I don't write in livejournal much, at least recently. (With the exceptional friends-locked post, I guess.) Lately I prefer to open Notepad, type until my head clears and hit the X. It's wonderfully cathartic.
Why don't I save the Notepad files? I don't know.
Years ago I wrote dialogue to sort through my problems. I had the protagonist, an unnamed man suspiciously like myself, talk to an alternately antagonistic and helpful other. Eventually this other became the character's shadow/darkside/anima/whatever, and I revisited that concept off and on this year. (My study of psychology tells me I'm crazy, but) This method allowed me to explore concepts in greater detail and focus on both sides of an issue.
Maybe I'll do more with that.

The last few weeks were...educational. I won't get bogged down in details; some people know, some people don't and ultimately the details don't matter.
Is there a term for a near-epiphany? I had the feeling of epiphany last night but the idea itself never appeared. It's still comforting.
My semester's irredeemable. I've come to terms with this fact, which reduces much of my stress. (I'm not enthused about retaking classes but I don't have a choice.) Lesson learned and all that.

Anyway, I'm out of steam. Gotta wait and see if a friend calls. Not the most reliable of people, but we'll see.
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dire troll mauler
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Apr. 3rd, 2007 @ 01:55 pm Whee
Yay, job interview tomorrow. It's at Hollywood Video, a movie and games rental place. It's the one I frequent most often so I already know some of the staff, and I know already that I like the working environment - lots of chances to talk to the customers, get in some conversation about entertainment. I also know the place is just busy enough to keep things interesting but slow enough that it rarely gets irritating.

I'm not saying I already have the job, but it's hinted that I might as well. Excitement.
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dire troll mauler
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Apr. 3rd, 2007 @ 12:24 am (no subject)
Getting the itch to game again. We're playing a "Savage Kingdoms" (Iron Kingdoms setting using Savage Worlds for the system) this summer but it's so far away. I'm weird about that though - sometimes I feel fed up with gaming altogether, but it usually passes.
I really, really want to play (not run) in a Vampire: The Masquerade game. That's probably why I reinstalled Bloodlines today. I'm also looking longingly at my Wraith and Orpheus books. The Orpheus game I ran was one of the best we ever did. Sigh. It doesn't help that I realised today I own nearly the entire run for both Changeling and Wraith, and the few books I need go for at least twice cover price. Bleh.
Our Exalted game is unfortunately dead - partly due to player problems and partly due to my own preferences. The game was great, but only one of the players really got the game. His grasp of the setting could use some work, but he really understood what it meant to be a Solar. Not necessarily a do-gooder or errand boy for the gods, not just an average guy with supapowaz. He had plans, big plans, and Yu-Shan help those who got in his way. His Motivation ran something like "Reclaim Creation for the Chosen of the Unconquered Sun, enslave the Dragon-Blooded and rule with an iron fist". His character was an asshole, but an epic asshole. The other player didn't quite get that.
The other reason we're not playing is because I have issues with the system in Exalted. We really enjoyed social combat and probably would have grown to like everything else, but we had a hard time reconciling the slow system with fast-paced buttkicking. (Admittedly, much of that came from the player lack of familiarity with the system; I like Exalted's system, but like it a lot better when everyone else understands it too. We just didn't have time for it to grow on the players.)

Also re-shaved my head since my hair grows way too fast. If it grows too long I'll stop looking good in hats.
Shaving my head seems to have been the catalyst for balance. I know I've been whiny, downright insufferable, and I apologise.
I'm taking Lucien's advice and keeping to myself about new projects for a while. It seems to have made a difference, though I imagine a new outlook helps too. I have just enough angst in my life right now to keep me creative - any more and I'll stress, any less and I'll lose that edge. That's...rather interesting, actually.

Ah, see? I can make a post without complaining. Hopefully that trend continues.
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Apr. 1st, 2007 @ 08:02 pm Power level of 9000
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Shaving my head is the best thing I've ever done. No, seriously.

I feel more confident and it shows. This in turn introduced me to new people and brought me (mostly) out of the funk I experienced. (Mostly) everyone thinks it looks good (the Kerrville contingent seems very against it, and I apologise to Kristin - I don't think my hair will ever be long again) and it's comfortable. I'm now a hat person, oddly enough. (They used to look terrible on me poor noggin.) Conversations are easier, I'm happier, the shock of a bald(ish) Brandon got me back in touch with old friends.

Nearly all of the girls in Theories of Learning rubbed my head in class Friday. (Including the attractive professor.) There's been significantly more Brandon-related interest among that gender after getting rid of the hair. Can't argue with results. I bet it's partly the goatee, partly the (lack of) hair.

( And in hair-related silliness... )
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dire troll mauler
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Mar. 16th, 2007 @ 10:39 pm Blind Catharsis Games news and Game Chef
Current Location: table
Current Music: She Said - Oikawa Rin
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I apologise - I'm working on Game Chef for the next few weeks. In the interest of not cluttering the friends list, leave me a comment here if you want to be part of the Game Chef friends filter. It's probably only of interest to people who care about roleplaying games.

The rules of Game Chef are simple: Create a full roleplaying game using three ingredients, chosen from one of the two groups:

Group A
MEMORY
DRUG
PALACE
CURRENCY

Group B
SACRED
ROSE
THREAD
INCONSISTENCY

I don't know which three I'll be picking. Out of Group A I'm leaning to Memory/Palace/Currency, and Group B I like all four. I'll probably pick Group B, then weed my way through the words.
All I know is, Group Omega is the best group ever. Go Omega!

Only problem is, I just finished a first draft of the next Blind Catharsis Games product, Perfect Strangers. I may be putting that on hold for a bit. (More news on that in the official Blind Catharsis Games community later.)

Anyway, off to brainstorm and discuss the ingredients with Group Omega.
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dire troll mauler
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Mar. 16th, 2007 @ 04:42 pm (no subject)
They reveal the ingredients for Game Chef tonight. Wish me luck.
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Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 06:10 am (no subject)
Yay!

Go here: http://www.tlucretius.net/RPGs/kids.html

Look under "RPGs That Can Be Played By All Ages".

Celebration.
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dire troll mauler
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Mar. 12th, 2007 @ 01:56 am (no subject)
The panic attacks are back. They seemingly confine their appearance to early morning/late night, which is a slight blessing. Dealing with them during school is a pain.
Normally I can source panic attacks but these remain beyond my grasp. Everything seems fine; I busted my ass and pulled my grades up from failing, no personal issues, nothing of that sort.
Feeling depressed lately too, and again I can't place a cause.

At least spring break is here. I dedicated this vacation to playing videogames which almost always fixes things. Thanks to some convenient rentals and new purchases I hope to beat quite a few games. There's also that Savage Worlds/Iron Kingdoms roleplaying project I want to work on...

I guess there's no real update. I'm going to rewatch Kamikaze Girls and hope the lightning doesn't take out our power.
On a happier note you can view the miniatures I've painted lately here. I don't think anyone here (other than Kyle) actually does the miniature thing, but there may be some interest.
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trollkin
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